Assistant Sports Editor, Asst. Copy Editor2006-2007

Sometime before winter break my editor told me I needed to prepare a farewell column.

‘Farewell?’ I asked. ‘Why? Am I dying?’

‘No, you’re leaving the office.’

Right. I am departing the tinderbox on Ostrom Ave to pursue other endeavors – and perhaps let a few come to me. But nothing surprises me anymore. Not even a duck showing up at a doorstep.

The next time my byline appears in this paper I will be a staff writer again, meaning I have indeed come full circle – all of which marks a strange and fitting irony in a city known for its oranges, carousels and domes.

That said, this has been one wild ride I’m not entirely ready to get off. Mark Twain once remarked ‘it is easier to stay out than get out.’ I guess after three semesters at the D.O. I’m beginning to realize the truth in those words.

But I’ve never been much for sentimentalities. I will try to make my farewell like a hot tub – which is to say, warm, comforting and not too deep.

This is my Aloha, take it whichever way you wish. After all, in sports, goodbyes can never be considered too seriously.

Now for the cleanup hitters in the lineup card of my D.O. life (in no particular order):

Clayton – Thanks for letting me be your Sean Salisbury for a semester. I wish it could have been longer. I had a great time working with you, and I hope I will get the chance to work for you in the future.

Kyle – Thanks for being my right-hand man. I’ve appreciated your company and been impressed with how you’ve changed since I first met you. It’s been a pleasure.

Andy – Thanks for the laughs, and there were a lot of them. To me, the D.O. without Andy is not the D.O. It’s a Danish.

Hannah – Thanks for making everybody smile once in a while. And don’t listen to me when I tell you caffeine isn’t candy.

Ethan – Thanks for the late nights and long laughs. Thanks for telling me when my writing sucked and when it didn’t. I’ve never taken a journalism class in my life, so in a lot of ways you have been my primary teacher. And I couldn’t ask for a better model.

Berman – Thanks for being the first Zach Berman. I’ll give you a quote I’ve always liked this time: As Edward Murrow said, ‘Just because your voice stretches halfway around the world, doesn’t make you any wiser than when it reached the other end of the bar.’ For you, I don’t think that will ever be a problem. I’ve enjoyed working for and alongside you, as well as being a friend. I hope down the road, when both our voices stretch around the world, we’ll be able to share a laugh or two at that bar.

A.J. – Thanks for doing more for the paper than anyone else could and for sacrificing more than anybody else would. If others don’t realize that, they should. And down the road, they will.

Lesley – Thanks for all the work you’ve done the past year. Nobody hates something they love as much as you do, but I hope you find the time to relax and enjoy your accomplishments. I appreciate everything you’ve done.

Jared – Thanks for driving on my uncle’s lawn. You really know how to make an entrance.

Photo – Thanks for putting in sports beat photographers. You guys all do a great job.

Tahmosh/Levin/Jackie – Thanks for all the stuff I learned from you guys on beats, which is a lot. It’s been great working with all of you.

Spinelli – I really have nothing to thank you for. In fact, you should be thanking me.

Designers – Thanks for impressing me almost every issue. When I came to the paper, I couldn’t care less about design. You’ve all taught me otherwise. I’ve tried never to take your work for granted.

Gelb – Thanks for being the Jing to my Pu. I was once asked how I would feel to be your assistant. But I’d like to think we’ve assisted each other, up the ladder, in parallel steps. And, well, we are linked. If not as equals in the words under our names, then as friends.

Pepsi Machine – Well, ole boy, this is it. (Bang!). Sorry, kids, Pepsi Machine was taken to a great big farm down the road, where it will run free and chase birds and be happy.