Humor

Hohenwarter: I watched the Super Bowl commercials so you didn’t have to

UPDATED: Feb. 9, 2016 at 5:35 p.m.

With Super Bowl Sunday come and gone and arguments about who made the better cheese dip just beginning to get uncomfortably serious, the nation divides itself into two camps: those watching the game for the football and those watching for the advertising.

As both an advertising student and football fan, I understand watching the Super Bowl for both. With this year marking the 50th anniversary and featuring a great matchup between a seasoned veteran and a young upstart, it may have been the Super Bowl of Super Bowls.

However, for those too focused on the football to pay close attention to the advertising, I’ve assembled a list of what I believe to be the best, and worst, commercials to make it onscreen during the big game.

The following advertisements are not actual ads, but have been written for comedic purposes.



Xiafan “You Know the Symptoms”

Who knew an advertisement for an anti-diarrhea commercial could be so emotionally taxing? When they brought in the Harlem Boys Choir to sing that song about diarrhea, I didn’t know whether I was going to let loose my tears or my bowels. Frankly, I think it’s nothing sort of brilliant to advertise an anti-diarrhea medication during the Super Bowl because at least 50 percent of the people who make comments on what play the offense should’ve ran are full of sh*t.

Geico “Your Dad”

Definitely the biggest miss of this year’s Super Bowl. Telling America that your dad doesn’t love you and is even probably cheating on your mom if he doesn’t get Geico auto insurance is a pretty strong assertion. I hate to mix sports analogies into the advertising side of things, but a swing and a miss in the truest sense.

Chipotle “Free”

Another brilliant campaign debuted during the big game in order to fight Chipotle’s PR issues surrounding the incidence of E. coli in its food. The decision to give away free food this week to everyone who orders a burrito wearing Crocs and an “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt is a bold, inventive approach. Don’t forget, if it acts like it doesn’t know what you’re talking about, it’s all part of the fun, so don’t take no for an answer.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday and for those who made a prop bet on the color of Beyonce’s shoes, I was certain they’d be gold too. Better luck next year.

Evan Hohenwarter is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. His column appears weekly in Pulp. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

CORRECTION: In a previous version of this article, the name of the Jeep advertisement was misstated. It was titled “4x4ever.” The Daily Orange regrets this error.





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