On the nights before games, Jovan Miller’s routine rarely strays from the same traditions that have shaped him since he suited up in football pads for Christian Brothers Academy. They start with him checking his gym bag repeatedly, ensuring every piece of gear is in place. He’ll call his girlfriend in Washington, D.C. Later, he’ll eat a pint of vanilla ice cream.

The night ends with Miller in front of his computer screen reading the lacrosse message boards and blog sites that sprinkle his name across the Internet.

And when the game comes, the chip on Jovan Miller’s shoulder swells to the echoes of the detractors who slander his name.

‘Whatever you write, I want you to write it more,’ the sophomore midfielder for the SU men’s lacrosse team said. ‘I (play) more for the people that hate me now than the people that love me.’

He is 5-foot-11 and 198 pounds, the type of athletic size that seems perfect for a running back on the football field – which is where he once excelled, as a star two-way player for local powerhouse CBA.

For now, he suits up only for Syracuse lacrosse, and on this Thursday afternoon, he is calmly answering more questions about his fluid role in a sport that remains relatively new to him. Does he know what his position is yet? ‘Not really,’ he says. Where is he needed most? ‘It depends,’ he answers.

It is the on-field revolution of Miller that rolls on with frustrating undulations, steered by the dichotomy of his teammates’ and coaching staff’s awe at his athletic ability and the acknowledgment of his shortcomings. Few deny that he is extraordinarily talented; in game situations, he remains enigmatic as his job flip-flops from week to week.

It is his off-the-field role, though, that defines his character most consistently. Miller is one of only a handful of black players in Division I lacrosse. In a struggle not to be defined by his skin, Miller also doesn’t shy from talking with candor about how race has trailed him. He wants his talent to stand out – too often, it’s everything else.

‘I would appreciate the day when it wouldn’t be a topic,’ Miller said. ‘At the same time, it’s an honor to be one of the only ones and also to be playing at a high level.’

He was given a lacrosse stick after sixth grade, after watching the 2001 national title game in which Syracuse fell to Princeton in overtime – the game, he said, that made him fall in love with the sport – by a man he affectionately calls ‘Mr. P’, who was a close friend of his mother. His family couldn’t afford to buy him one at the time.

With his new stick, he’d head over to Shove Park in Camillus. He’d spend hours playing pick-up box lacrosse, often not getting picked up until after 10 at night.

‘He would spend the entire day there, just playing lacrosse,’ said SU attack Tim Desko, another former Shove Park regular.

Miller quit playing baseball (‘Kind of boring,’ he said). He gave up basketball, too, to concentrate on lacrosse and football, and he began his high school career at West Genesee before transferring to CBA after ninth grade.

The reasons for his transfer were personal – several incidents involving his older brother and sister played a factor – but Miller contests they were not solely football-related, as some blog posters that still follow him today would have it. There was, he says, some racial tension there at the time.

‘I don’t mean to disrespect West Genesee in any way or form, I’m not going to generalize them, but there was a lot of things that happened to me,’ Miller said. ‘My time at West Genesee was very bitter, for the most part.’

The switch ignited an athletic career that would become illustrious quickly. His first year, he was relegated to the sidelines in khakis as he watched star quarterback Greg Paulus lead the Brothers to the state title. Soon, he would become a CNY All-First team member as a two-way player at safety and running back, and an All-American on the lacrosse team.

The negativity, though, surrounding his transfer continued to follow him. His senior year, he rushed for four touchdowns in a win over West Genesee. He awoke the next morning to find his house had been egged.

It follows him still, even though he chose to play for his hometown team rather than take up offers to go to North Carolina, Notre Dame or Massachusetts. He hears more jeers at home games than away. He feeds off the messages and criticisms he reads online at night.

‘I didn’t know I was going to get so much negative speculation on my career,’ Miller said. ‘It’s a lot of motivation.’

There’s motivation elsewhere, too – like on his helmet, written in marker, ‘Mr. P’, in remembrance of the man who introduced him to lacrosse, who passed away two summers ago.

There’s motivation in Miller’s desire to improve his skill set and prove he’s playing his best sport. Not least, there’s the motivation that his unique role as a minority provides him, one he admits he constantly struggles with.

‘At times when I’m around other African-Americans it can be hard,’ Miller said. ‘They say I play a white sport. They characterize me as somebody who doesn’t know where I come from. They say I’m ‘white-washed’ and stuff like that. It’s all a part of it. But it is very difficult at times.’

It stems from a lack of understanding, which Miller says can be present in the Syracuse locker room, too. His relationship with his teammates has never been better today, though. And he’s learned to handle the teasing from other athletes.

‘At the same time, it’s a sign of respect,’ Miller said. ‘It’s actually a compliment. A lot of people can’t really deal with that. But it’s something I’ve learned to take as something that’s in my favor.’

He knows it would’ve been easier just to continue with his football career – there, at least, maybe he’d have a set role on the field.

As Miller sifts through another season, molding to the whims of his head coach, the flexibility of his talents at once feed and diminish the expectations that have been laid out for him. Where does he fit?

To the south, Shamel and Rhamel Bratton continue to dazzle in their second season for Virginia. To the east, Mike Banks is a preseason All-American at Albany.

To Syracuse, Miller is not yet a star, just an athlete feeling his way through the sport he loves in the community that doesn’t always love him.

Zach Schonbrun is the sports columnist for The Daily Orange, where his columns appear every Wednesday. He can be reached at zsschonb@syr.edu.

Published on April 6, 2009 at 12:00 pm