Erinn ConnorManaging Editor, Asst. Feature Editor, Fall 2007-Spring 2009

Well, I guess there’s only one thing to say:

Sad face.

Seriously, I think people would be shocked if I said more. So here we go.

(There should be a lot more cursing in this. Just imagine one about every six words.)

Dockery: Congrats, you’re still the most infuriating person I’ve ever met! Never have I cursed at a person so much–but we were an alright team, huh? But seriously though, I made you that faux-business card for a reason: because you’ll totally need to make copies of it someday. I’m not sure I know anyone else with as much drive and passion as you. You’re going to end up as some obnoxious important person living in one of those buildings in the Middle East shaped like Sweden that comes out of the ocean. Sigh. Thanks for making me speak up more and always taking me seriously even when I say ‘button’ like an 80-year-old British man. If you ever need someone to deflate your ego a bit, I’m always here to throw things at you and glare.

Levin: I tried for awhile to write this like a Dinosaur Comic, but it wasn’t the same without the house-stomping visuals. And it never would have been as good as the ‘chloomydia’ one, anyway. I remember once you told me when I first started working you thought I was a mute–which, while still mildly factual, I’m glad you figured out I wasn’t. Incidentally, the semester I was your assistant was the semester I learned the most at this place– hopefully I was helpful to you in some way, besides being a good target for yooper jokes and that Sean Kingston interview. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated on the Mark Tauscher situation while you’re fox hunting/getting kidnapped in Arizona, but only if you actually give me that Mark Chmura action figure.

Andy: My grades are in and they are hot– I have no transition from that, it’s just pretty great. What to say to the person who talked me into every job I had at the DO? You taught me more than, well, anyone really, (maybe besides Kruse… he just writes stories, man) even with your mildly frustrating double clicking/highlighting method. I look forward to reading your first epic and commenting on Gangrey about it. Hope the whale rainboots didn’t let you down too much–actually, I’ll just save the letdowns for the e-mail chain this summer. PS- Bono still sucks. Boom. Roasted.

Kristin: Oh hey, friend. I still think it’s crazy that I was the first person you encountered here–and then I just didn’t really speak to you again until this year. I hope next semester I can still look forward to e-mails with wild subject lines (my favorite? ‘math, i’m a tool, dinosaurs, free tea.’), impromptu trips to Target and of course, story time. Thanks for always listening to my bullshit, you are an A+ listener. Can’t wait for you to visit me in Columbus- hopefully I’ll have an actual place of residence by then. Also remember: YOU CAN’T START A STORY AND NOT FINISH IT. (I’M A SAD STUPID PERSON IT’S FINE.) THAT’S POOR.

Jared: Where would I be without our Panera trips? Somewhere very sad, is the answer. I’m glad you came back to the DO and we got to hang out there, even if it meant no more playing text twist in chem class. (We all know I was only useful for the six-letter words anyway.) You are one of my favorite people and I know whenever I need a laugh I’ll just come into the sports office and read ‘this lede’ and ‘the 2008 Arizona Diamondbacks’ on the ‘things Jared thinks sucks’ list and all will be right with the world.

Ethan: The first time I ever spoke to you, I held up my hand in a crude shape of the state I’m from and pointed to where I live. How embarrassing. I think I was always a little scared to talk to you, but whenever I did, I always learned something. Thanks for that. Let’s take that trip to Russia– it’ll be totally badass.

Kyle: It’s been a good run. I would end it there, but that would just be a poor showing. Thanks for always appreciating my budget jokes, and for giving me fodder for most of them. You somehow managed to corral Jared and Ehalt and run a great section– that’s something I can only shake my head in awe at. And I’m still pretty excited I understand the Boone’s Farm tagline now- I’ll keep you updated when I start season four.

Kelly: It’s wild to think back when I was editing your first stories and now you’re in charge of a great section. I know you’ll do some more kickass work next semester and keep it loose in the office– my favorite was going downstairs and you were playing some awesome 90s jam. Also: we must organize another twin American Apparel date immediately. Red pullover or yellow hoodie– your choice.

Ehalt: Who am I supposed to talk about funny television shows with now? This is lame. But you know things that aren’t lame? Grandpa Fluffers, that rap you did about soccer that one time and when you sang to remix to ignition and trapped in the closet. See you around next semester, most definitely.

Clayton: I still miss writing ‘hey John Clayton’ on the budget every day and early morning management chats/rants. Have fun in your second stop of your Midwest tour– Detroit is wild.

Steph: Remember: The trees in the forest are all you need. I can’t give you better advice than that– seriously though, I know you’ll do just fine at the reins. (Your 1200 cutoff rule is still shady, though, haha) And please make ‘partners’ a mached, or whatever that wolf one was, it would bring me so much joy.

Meredith: No one’s harassing you about copy deadline next semester, you’re at the top now, it’s all you. You know what the paper’s about and you’ll do great as ME. If you ever need ideas for budget jokes, I’m around.

Conor: I’ll never forget your steps to becoming a man: 1) first beer with dad 2) reading ‘Catcher in the Rye’ 3) owning a handgun. Seems about right- your sense of humor is underrated. Thanks for all the Joan Deppa stories– I would’ve gone into withdrawal without them.

Shayna: When you wake up from an impromptu nap, it terrifies me I won’t lie about it. I hope you get more sleep next semester. And go wild writing stories. Your goal: a Bruce Skewes profile. Seriously. Make it happen.

Schonbrun: If I don’t see your byline in some sort of publication in the near future, I will be very upset. I-and a lot of the staff always learned a lot from your writing.

Gelb: Thanks for editing my Pan Am story-when you told me ‘good work’ on it that meant a lot. Have fun in Jersey with Andy…I’m sure I’ll be hearing some wild stories.

Lesley: You scared the shit out of me my first semester. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind and confront people, the very things I never did. I like to think that rubbed off on me a bit thanks to you. And you introduced me to Andre. Enough said.

Mel: I’m sad we didn’t hang out more this year. You put out some great stories and all your institutional knowledge will be sorely missed.

David Miller: I hope you come back from London and design the shit out of the newspaper. And somehow find a way to get the word ‘coodle’ in there again.

Kate: Let’s take another trip to Ithaca soon-except maybe without the sketchy vampire movie. Hopefully I’ll be seeing you around a lot next year.

Melissa: We had some wild times that seem so long ago. I miss our random chats about music and life. Come back soon?

Amanda: Thanks for introducing me to the greatness that is Chuck Bass. It was nice to find someone in the office that I had so much in common with. Good luck at Kansas next year, I’m sure you’ll be happy there.

Eddie: You legitimately terrify me sometimes. But when you put your mind to it, you’re a great writer with a good eye for detail. Thanks for all the music. Even the rap.

Spinelli: even though you held up production by an hour whenever you came in, your humor columns are sorely missed.

Leann: Sorry for being such an epic fail of a best friend these past two years. But thanks for listening to me freak out and letting me be a non-secret teller. And thanks for ruining my life and giving me that Nick Jonas poster. I’m coming to Omaha to stalk him with you, no worries.

Michael Cera: I never got to crush on you for a third time, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. It’s been a fun, sexy time.

Mom and Dad: Surprise: I slept a lot less than you thought I did. I’m not sure how good I was at perpetuating the illusion that I was leaving around midnight every night, but it’s safe to say that… never happened. Thanks for not freaking out (too much) when I didn’t call for a long periods of time. And for realizing that I was learning more here than anywhere else.

Published on April 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm