Like most undergrads, I was required to take WRT 205. This was a course taught by a serious woman who did serious research. In contrast, I once spent an entire morning trying to figure out which cereal would take the longest to get soggy. (I still don’t know the answer to this; I lost interest sometime around the Captain Crunch experiment.) To be perfectly honest, if the answer lies beyond Wikipedia, I find an easier question.

This is not to say I am incapable of research. I just like to know that the guy who authored the brain surgery entry also has a deep interest in light sabers. So this past week, I delved deep into the history of Syracuse.

Syracuse University has a motto: Suos Cultores Scientia Coronat. Loosely translated, this means, ‘Our original colors were pink and green. That is the last time we ever drink tequila.’ This is actually true (maybe not the tequila part, though it would explain a lot). SU went from pink and green to pink and blue and finally to orange, according to the Web site. The Web site was unspecific as to why the colors would need to be visible from the moon.

They came up with the original colors in 1872, and changed to orange in 1889 after they won a football game at Hamilton. Predictably, Hamilton made ‘derisive comments’ about the colors, to which SU responded ‘your mom.’ Then they went home and changed the colors because no matter how manly you are, pink is just embarrassing.

I can’t help but wonder what happened in the 17 years in between. Apparently, nobody came to the school and said, ‘Gosh, I’m no expert, but I think those guys are laughing at us.’ ‘Of course they are! We are wearing these silly leather helmets!’

In addition to being colorblind, Syracuse also has a proud architectural history. We are home to many famous historical landmarks, including Carnegie Library. I visited Carnegie as part of my research. Well, to be accurate, I was going to class. But the first version sounds like I put a lot more effort into the research.

Judging by the sign on Carnegie, the letter ‘U’ was not discovered until sometime after 1905. Either that, or Microsoft was in charge of spell check then, too: ‘Did you mean to spell ‘Syracvse Vniversity?’

I also spent a lot of time reading the SU chronology. For example, the Hall of Languages once had a need for spittoons. This was apparently a serious issue, warranting the need for its own article in the newspaper. (Why my request for naptime has not been treated with similar gravitas is still an issue that upsets me.)

After completing their calculus course, students used to go to Skaneateles Lake, place their books on a raft and set it on fire. According to the history, they stopped doing this because somebody set off the fireworks at an inopportune moment. (I am all for reinstating this tradition. I think I can probably still sell the remains on Half.com as ‘slightly used’).

In 1886, there was a gym behind the Hall of Languages. Many of you may be wondering ‘What gym?’ You’re wondering this because the undergrads burned it down.

In the event that you were thinking of protesting the dining hall food, it’s been tried. In 1912, ‘Junior Elizabeth Reed, unhappy with the quality of dining hall food, is expelled after organizing a food strike.’ In related news, 1966 brought about an edict that men must wear socks in the dining halls. I’m no health code expert, but I kinda figured they’d encourage a shirt and perhaps some pants as well.

In 1950, Edna Brandau said that the reason why girls were prettier then than in the 10 or 20 years earlier was because ‘Girls today eat a rounded meal, merely cutting out those foods which would make them plump or give them a bad complexion.’

Apparently she had never eaten Sadler food.

Holden Fenner is a junior in the School of Information Studies. There are many rumors about him, but he assures you that none of them are true. He can be reached at htfenner@syr.edu.

Published on September 23, 2008 at 12:00 pm