Ah, the circus. No childhood is complete without a trip to the Big Top. Tuesday afternoon, children across the city of Syracuse got a chance to enjoy the marvels of the Garden Brothers Circus at the OnCenter Complex, while their parents got to enjoy re-mortgaging their homes.

The circus was not cheap. Adult tickets cost $25, face painting $6 and the popcorn came with a financing plan. The show must go on.

Really, nothing can dampen the joy of the circus. I remember fondly how my father used to take my siblings and me down to the Big Apple circus. After the show, he’d play a fun game where he pretended to sell us to the ringmaster. Then he’d pretend to get in his car and drive away. To finish the bit, the police would come take us home six hours later. Boy, the circus was fun!

The magic started the second I walked through the door, as I was greeted by the booming voice of the Magical Genie. At first, I thought he might have been a fat guy in a sparkly plush turban, but I was convinced when he magically persuaded me to pay $10 for a program.

I took my seat next to a middle-aged woman named Kim, her 4-year-old godson Luke and his 7-year-old cousin Colin. Kim asked that their last names not be used for the children’s sakes, but all three were visibly excited for the show.

‘My grandparents used to bring me (to the circus),’ said Kim, a lifelong Syracuse resident. ‘I like the acrobats. I’m always on the edge of my seat, hoping they get caught.’

What got Kim’s attention most that day, though, was the $27 she paid to get the two boys each a light-up sword. The Genie strikes again!

Fortunately, the show got off to a mystifying start, as a small boy in a bed was carried into the center ring. Dancers surrounded him, leaving behind a mysterious lamp, which he rubbed vigorously. Smoke billowed, drums rolled and the Magical Genie appeared!

‘Ah!’ he said. ‘Five thousand years in the lamp! My back is really stiff!’

Wow, Genie. Five thousand years, and that’s your best material?

The next act up were the Flying Preciados, a trapeze artist troupe. Their biggest trick was the ‘oft attempted, rarely mastered’ triple somersault. Watching Rubio Cesar attempt this intense stunt was much like watching Gerry McNamara put up a 3-point shot – disappointing, because he missed it.

‘You know what I don’t see?’ asked Kim. ‘Any clowns!’ Well, there weren’t many. My favorite was the 7-foot-tall man in the velvet Syracuse University tracksuit and oversized cowboy hat. Well, he was my favorite, until I realized he was not so much a clown as a townie. Oh, Syracuse.

One of the more interesting acts was the contortionists and their ‘Mind-Boggling Artistry.’ That must be the circus term for ‘finding so many ways to grotesquely expose your crotch to the audience that this writer has lost all interest in sex.’

The crowd favorite was a routine where a clown brought out a baby elephant the size of, say, a dog. After a few laps around the ring, the clown removed the elephant’s costume to reveal – surprise! It was a dog all along!

‘You got me! Oh, you got me!’ shrieked the 7-year-old boy to my left.

Really? Hey, No Child Left Behind Act, you missed one.

For the grand finale, out came Zaal the Human Canonball. A frightened hush fell over the crowd as Zaal meticulously inspected his landing pad. I wondered why exactly he was worried more about the landing part than the part with the gunpowder. Fortunately, Zaal’s routine went flawlessly, throwing the audience into a frenzy.

‘Is he alive?’ gasped the 7-year-old, though Zaal was already up and taking a bow.

‘Hey,’ I wanted to tell his dad, ‘I bet the ringleader would pay top dollar for this one.’

Published on March 27, 2006 at 12:00 pm